You know this song...yes you do!

Ain't No Mountain High Enough (Nickolas Ashford/Valerie Simpson)

Listen, baby
Ain't no mountain high
Ain't no vally low
Ain't no river wide enough, baby
If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry
'Cause baby,There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you ......

I've been listening to a CD in my car recently and this song is on it. I love this song. Anybody's version...anybody's. I love this song.

Do these people...the person singing this song...do they really exist? I try to be that person but I'm not sure that I'm good enough to cross mountains and raging rivers. I'll try though...I'll try. But are there really people out there who will stop at nothing to get to me (or anyone else) just because I (or they) need that person? Really?

It's amazing how few other people one encounters that will cross a street, let alone a river to be by one's side. VERY few!

I know that I frustrate some because I don't spell out to the letter what it is I want a person to do for me to help. I just don't. You know why? Because I have been disappointed, let down, left on my own too many times. At least one of my children thinks I'm too harsh and too hard about people. Experience has forced me to take care of myself and not count on others. It seems when I do count on someone else even just for those little delightful surprises that make the days and weeks go by faster, they let me down. Way down. So, over the many years I've been alive I've tried not to tie my happiness up in what other people do. Not an easy task. Not always a happy task. But doable. I read somewhere that the definition of a grown-up is someone who realizes that no one is coming to help. I agree.

Now...child of mine who thinks I'm mean and harsh...that doesn't mean that I don't think there are marvelous, wonderful, terrific, trustworthy people out there. I'm still looking. Why do you think I talk to everybody? And why am I eating salads every day? To stay alive (and maybe be cute in a bathing suit) to keep encouraging you to keep searching, but to be realistic too. Life is hard and people will let you down. More people will let you down than not. But look at everyone you meet. Re-look at people you've met. Be open to happiness. Because, children of mine (yes, both of you)...there isn't any mountain high enough or river wide enough .... I'm eating salads every day for me...but mostly because of you.

bad advice...in my opinion

I was on the phone today with a friend from Southern Florida. It was nearly lunchtime. I was alone with my thoughts of creative salad making. I have caller ID on my phone here at the house...and it is voice caller ID. So I can hear a computer voice announce who is on the phone whenever it rings. We didn't know this when we bought the phone. And we weren't sure if we'd like it...but it's pretty cool. I live in a big old house without too many phone extensions. It's nice to be able to decide from another room if I'd like to rush to the phone or call back later. Today it was my friend's name that broke my daydreams of lettuce and tomatoes. I was glad for the interuption and glad to hear from her. She's had some tough times and recently she's had some very tough times with her pets. Her 17 year old Corgi "girlfriend" passed away last week in a quite traumatic fashion. I wish I was there to help her but I live at least 1000 miles away. We support each other via the phone lines. I've talked with her when she got some upsetting medical news, when she's irritated with her mother, when a hurricane passed over her house...with her talking from the closet! So we were discussing...as usual...everything from Top Chef to her ex when she said that a neighbor friend of hers told her that she wasn't over her ex-husband and needed to get over him. And this neighbor told her that she needed some intimate activity (although she put it in very unladylike terms). Hold on I said. Is this because of his email about the dog's passing. Yes...she replied. Well she's wrong I said. You're over him as much as you're going to be after over 20 years of marriage and a child...and a 17 year old dog. I mean let's get serious....this friend of mine has handled life with everything it's thrown at her (and it hasn't all been soft, slow pitches) without once asking the old ex to help. Not once. Even when she has contacted him about things having to do with their child she has given it a great deal of thought. I told her that I thought her neighbor friend didn't know what she was talking about and that I thought she'd certainly moved on with her life without the ex...but how do you get over someone with whom you've had a child and made a family. This friend has often told me that what she misses more that sex is holding hands under the covers in the dark. She's all alone in that house...especially now that her best girl is gone. I wish I lived closer.





So today's salad is pretty standard, pretty simple. Lettuce, mushrooms, leftover cooked zucchini, a side of tuna salad. Wish she was here...or I was there...and we could share this salad and memories of better times.

waiting for soup and bread

It seems all I ever do is wait. I wait for morning. I wait for night. I wait for those salad lunches. I wait for phone calls and I wait for email. I wait for regular mail. I wait for packages. I wait for everyone to go to work and I wait for everyone to come home. I wait for the wash to finish. I wait for the dryer to finish. I wait for contractors and people to read meters. I wait for holidays and I wait for vacations. I wait to see people. I wait to hear from people. I even wait to hear about people. So. While waiting I made a pot of chicken soup and a loaf of whole wheat, oat bran, flax bread. Breakfast bread I call it because that's what I eat for breakfast. My family loves this chicken soup so I decided (since I'm waiting anyway...to give you the recipe). The first thing you need to know is that I use organic chicken and organic grass fed beef. It makes a difference...to me. But I'm sure the soup will be delicious no matter where your farm animals were raised.

The first thing you do is tie your chicken with three pieces of string so that when you lift the chicken out of the soup to pick it the chicken doesn't fall apart in the soup. Then (even though this is chicken soup...I put, like my grandmother before me, a piece of beef shin bone in the pot). Next 2 stalks of celery, chopped in only a couple of pieces, 3 carrots chopped (I used those tiny already cut carrots...lazy today) likewise. two chopped leeks, and a parsnip. You'll notice that my chicken and shin bone are frozen. Totally okay. It's going to cook all day while you're waiting after all.

After you have settled all of that into the pot cut up a small head of cabbage. Slice into long thick slices and drop into the pot. Then put two cloves of garlic through your garlic press and into the pot along with about a 1/4 cup of dried parsley and salt and pepper to taste. I use coarse Kosher salt and fresh ground pepper. Add about 12 cups of water and turn it on to start a boil. Once it starts to boil...turn it down to simmer S-L-O-W-L-Y. Remember...you're waiting. Be patient. Patience is a virtue.

Now just put on that pot's lid, adjust to a simmer, and wait, wait, wait (say five hours or more!)

So the afternoon goes by. I put things away. I do laundry. I make beds. I blog. Waiting. Waiting for the phone to ring. For a car in the driveway. Something. Because here's the thing. No one can tell me for sure when they're coming home. Around that time. Give or take. And so I wait. Hesitant to get started on something bigger than chores because I like to see my family. I like to talk with them. So I don't want to be elbows deep into something when they finally arrive at the back door. (Or maybe that's just an excuse to keep from finishing my novel...that I've been working on (and off) for six years). Hmmm.

Anyway. While I'm waiting for soup I make bread. I have a Panasonic SD-YD250 bread machine that I love. I mean it. If it broke today I would buy another immediately. I don't buy bread. I make it in the YD. So, for those of you reading who have the Panasonic SD-YD250 here is my very own recipe for Whole Wheat Oat Bran Flax Bread: 4 oz. bread flour, 5 oz. oat bran flour, 5 oz. whole wheat flour, 3/4 oz ground flax seed, 1 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 1/4 tbsp. sugar, 1 1/4 tbsp. dried milk powder, 1 1/2 tbsp. unsalted butter, 10 oz. water, 1 tsp. bread machine yeast. Put it on the sandwich bread setting. Push the button and WAIT for 4 hours. Bread! I eat it for breakfast...toasted with a little Simply Jif spread on top.

The soup is done. And while I'm waiting I pull out the parsnip and throw it away. I pull out the chicken and clean the meat off the bones. I toss some back in the soup and some I put on a plate to eat (we're have sandwiches with the soup...got to find some place for more lettuce!). I take the marrow out of the shin and toss it in the soup along with some of the meat. Some of the beef I just eat while I'm finishing the soup...cook's treat. I strain the vegetables and throw some carrots, all leeks, all celery, some cabbage back into the pot and pulverize them with an immersion blender. Then I toss the rest of the carrots and cabbage back into the pot along with a can of rinsed and drained small white beans.

So I've waited all day and got some chores done and soon the house will no longer be quiet. I've blown another afternoon that could have afforded me time to write my novel. Instead I've made soup and bread for my family. Somehow...as much as I hate to wait, sitting down to dinner with my family makes me content. I can finish my novel tomorrow...while I'm waiting.

Saturday's lunch

Saturday was a quiet day. Everyone went to work or out for the day and I had much of the day to myself. It was nice and quiet. I decided to go to my local Whole Foods as I had a list of things I needed that only came from there. Vanilla soy yogurt. Low sugar cookies that actually taste like cookies. Organic ground turkey. So I drove myself there, grabbed a handful of reusable bags, and ventured in. It wasn't too crowded but there were a lot of middle-aged (my age or slightly younger!) women who were there looking desperately for a cure for being over 40. Vitamins. Minerals. Herbs. Organic Mac & Cheese in a box. Some had husbands in tow who seemed genuinely mystified about what their wife was looking for and what the heck the place was all about. I'm always fascinated watching what other people buy at Whole Foods. Some appear genuinely to have a specific nutritional issue that they are addressing but many seem to think that if they buy the food from Whole Foods as opposed to a regular supermarket the box of cookies or container of lemonade or even the box of mac and cheese mix is totally healthy and will not only reverse the aging process but keep them free from disease.

I got the things on my not very long list rather quickly and bought myself some "treats" from the salad bar to go on my salad. And then drove home. I brought my groceries in and was putting them away when himself got home so the photo for today's lunch has his lunch and mine. His is a roastbeef and provolone and lettuce whole wheat wrap and some chips and an orange (and a peanut butter chip granola bar!). Notice his arm next to his plate. Mine is the salad with the standard lettuce, mushrooms, tomatoes...and (from the salad bar...balsamic grilled tofu, a hard boiled egg (very hard!), garlic grilled green beans, marinated artichoke pieces, olives, and yellow tail tuna salad with dill). My morning was very nice. I love walking through a not too crowded supermarket looking at new and delicious things. Next time I'll probably skip the green beans (too garlicky) and the egg (too hard) and the tuna (just kind of odd...maybe it was the dill...but I like dill...who knows.) Short entry today.

flowers, herbs, and vegetables ...oh my!

Short blog today. Not much going on. Porch is still being worked on. (It was supposed to take two weeks...we're finishing week #3. Daughter's room was supposed to take 2 days....we're on day 3...will be finished Monday). I feel like a prisoner in my own house. Nice man...really nice. But I need my space and my quiet and my privacy...or I need a nice hard roll with butter...or a cheesesteak...or a slice of pizza...oooh..turkey and bacon hoagie with potato salad!!! Salad today is composed of red leaf lettuce, English cucumber, sliced grilled chicken breast (leftover from the other night's dinner), avocado slices, bits of three cheeses (provolone, cheddar, mozzarella), oil & vinegar (Anyone have a great salad dressing? Anyone?)

I went to this nursery I shop at every year. I bought my ten annuals for some pots in front of my house. I love perennials. Not much of a gardener am I. I love looking at beautiful gardens, I just don't like to make or maintain them. Anyway. Younger daughter is going to visit her grandfather (my father) and is taking him some flowers that I buy for him every year. Nice hot pink color and they spread and flow. He plants them on my mother's grave and they flourish. So I went today because the nursery where I shop is owned by all women and they grow all the plants from seed in their greenhouses and then sell them to the public for a very short period of time. Good variety. Very healthy. Decent prices. So I did my annual buy today. Flowers, tomato plants, peppers, eggplant, and herbs (lemon thyme, basil, rosemary, thyme, dill, parsley).

Summer's on it's way...hope I can sit on my porch by then!

all grown up!

Today is a quiet day...sort of. The contractor's son is working on staining the mahogany trim and the contractor himself is painting oldest child's bedroom. Well, he's getting ready to. There are no saws or nail guns pounding so it's very quiet. It's warm and sunny. Flowers are blooming. Trees are blooming. A nice breeze is blowing. Everything is covered with green pollen. If you stand still long enough you'll be covered too. But it's warm in the sun and that's nice.

I'm working on bills and filing and generally cleaning up my desk and "office". Things have a way of piling up. I wish I was one of those people who has hard and fast rules of conduct and behavior for living each day. You know...when the mail comes in I write a check, file the paperwork, shred the garbage. I actually know people who eat the same food on the same day of the week...EVERY WEEK! I wonder what it feels like to think you have that much control over your life. I don't think I have much if any control and I don't want to. If we're here for a finite time then let's live with infinite experiences.

My contractor and I are very close in age and our children are too. We talk quite a bit about the world and politics and a lot about our children. (And you thought this blog was just about salad and my contractor was just about constructing the porch!) Today he seemed a little distressed. His kids are taking all his energy. Now...his kids and mine are in their 20s...no little babies these. His middle child, a young woman, has lived with him all her life. Her boyfriend has lived there for seven years. They have a toddler and they've just bought a house. They've never given him anything for the time and food or anything else they require to live there. Now she's moving to a home of her own and in the summer she is going to marry her boyfriend. And she calls her father all day long. Let's do this. Do this for me. Make a decision about this for me. He says he's had it...but. He's the dad and he still helps her whenever she asks. We all do that for our kids. They're our flesh and blood. They're a piece of us for the future. But they are exhausting sometimes. I told him my theory (and now I'll tell you)...I think our children don't really grow up completely until they see us, their parents, as people. It's hard for our children to imagine that we've had hopes and dreams and disappointments and heartache. It's hard for them to believe that, at the end of a long a tiring day, we just want to sit still somewhere and not move and that putting in a new kitchen for them or having an opinion for them, while it gives up joy to be able to, is not relaxing and not always fun. It's hard work and tiring being parents. And the older your children get the harder it is. Give me diapers and teething any time. Likewise our children never see us age...we're young and then we're too old. We're human beings. We have hopes and dreams and disappointments and heartaches (often to do with our children). We are flawed and want perfection. We are helpless and want control. My children are great. They are gainfully employed and generally wonderful people. And they often exhaust me. And I can't imagine life without them. Whatya' gonna' do?

Today's salad is a simple one. Some tuna. Bibb lettuce. Tomato. A little cheese. A couple of olives. I'm weary today. I'm weary of this diet I follow. I'm weary of having so much to do and never seeming to accomplish anything. I'm weary of being all grown up and still not getting everything I want. And even though I am weary, not tired, I'll keep plugging along. That's what we grown ups do.

my life is not my own...

Today started out simply enough. Breakfast. A planned walk. My oldest daughter was home so she planned to walk with me. After the walk a trip to CostCo to pick up her contact lenses. Simple. Easy. And then the rest of the day for me to do what needed and what I wanted to get done. Along with writing this blog now...I'm writing a novel (isn't everyone?) and I was hoping to get some time to do that today. I said yesterday that I'm having my porch repaired and redecked and I haven't been on my own at home for three weeks now. Don't get me wrong. The man repairing my porch is a very nice man and he does fine work...but I'm not alone. I just don't feel like I can just go sit and write my novel when he may need to use the facilities or ask a question or just talk for a while. So, needless to say, the novel has suffered. I mean, I've been writing it for six years so what's three weeks. But it's starting to bother me. Believe it or not, when I write, my blood glucose number goes down. I told you, stress. I dream that someday I'll finish that novel and then I'll find someone who wants to publish it and then lots of people will want to read it and I'll make enough money for that little brown cedar shuttered house in Cape May. I don't need a big house. Little is fine. Perfect in fact.

So my daughter and I are starting out and I'm speaking with the contractor when the phone rings. A good friend who lives in Florida. Her dog (Nellie....17 years old) died last night. Very, very sad. MK we're thinking of you. Then we talk some more to the contractor. Finally get in the car to ride to the mall to walk. Funny, isn't it? Ride to walk. Anyway. Then we go to CostCo and buy all kinds of goodies....strawberries, grapes, oranges (which I share with the contractor), avocados, my favorite bibb lettuce, and I succumb and buy a rotisserie chicken...two actually. And I see dinner coming together. I can write this afternoon, I think, because dinner is essentially ready. Some vegetable soup (which I made and froze...no canned soups for us...have you ever tried to find a soup that does NOT have HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP!?), chicken, and a large salad. Cheese (delicious hard cheddar from my special cheese ladies!) and grapes. Perfect! But, while dinner was perfect...my afternoon was not. At least not for writing my novel.

First I had to put everything away and then I had to make two salads. My daughter wanted one too. And then there were questions and opinions and laundry and just standing outside and looking at all the beautiful trees in bloom. There is a pink Dogwood down the street that is breathtaking! The next thing I knew it was time to pick those chickens (I hate to pick a chicken!!!), reheat the soup, and toss the salad. Tomorrow is another day, at least that's what I've heard. So tomorrow I'm going to walk the mall and come home and write my novel! (And maybe do some laundry...and I'll have to figure out what I'm cooking for dinner, and I have to go to the post office. But I hope I won't have to call the newspapers again. We've been having a delivery problem for three weeks! We never know if the paper will be in the driveway or not. The other morning I spent a good hour on hold and talking with the home delivery representative from each newspaper we get and they assure me the problem would be fixed. What good is a newspaper that arrives after breakfast? Exactly!) So tomorrow. After my walk. I'm writing my novel. Yes, P. I am!!!

So today's salad was a good one. We had tuna salad, bibb lettuce, romaine lettuce, cucumber, fresh mozzarella cubes (I had tomatoes and mushrooms...daughter doesn't like them!) and our favorite...AVOCADO!!! Of course our whole grain crackers. Grapes for dessert. You'll notice there is no book or crossword puzzle. You'll also notice TWO plates. I had company for lunch. My daughter. Why would I read a book when I can talk with her? Exactly.

Another day, another several thousand dollars...

I suppose most of you think this will just be salad recipes and photos. Well, that would be boring wouldn't it? No. You're going to have to hear the whole thing. You're going to have to hear all the inspiration that went into creating the salad...not just the eating. Today's salad was brought to you by my new front porch (not done yet!).

Along with eating a salad every day for lunch (and another one with dinner too) I walk a local mall for exercise. I walk three miles every morning that I make it to the mall which is to say that I walk Monday through Friday and on the weekend I try to get at least one nice walk in with someone from my family. Walking the mall is great. There is musak (I wear an ipod shuffle that my dh fills with music and pod casts to keep me up to date and to distract me). There is a clear flat walking surface. There are other people and security guards. And there is heat in the winter and AC in the summer. Perfect! This morning, on my way out of the house, I was stopped by the man working on my front porch. I live in a very old house and the porch has been gradually rotting for years. This year was the year of the porch. The original bid for the 575 square foot surface was around $8000. $8160.00 to be exact. I've already written three checks. One for $5000 and two for $2000 each. Do the math! That's $9000! Today, as I greeted the man recreated my old rotted porch he handed me ANOTHER INVOICE for $4997.13. Ouch!

Something else you need to know. Actually the food I eat does not have as significant an impact on my blood sugar as stress does. We have the data.

So I politely take the invoice after I've asked all the appropriate questions and drive to the mall...to walk.

As I walked I ruminated over what to do. I so wanted to screen the porch in. I so wanted a new front storm door (double doors actually). But $14,000 for an $8000 job! Again OUCH (louder this time)!

So I walked my three miles and came to a decision. Time to stop the bleeding. I would go home and tell him to finish the pillars and then we were done. For now. Love his work...have to stop the bleeding.

I left the mall and stopped at a bookstore to buy dh some interesting magazines because we're having a newspaper delivery problem (more on that tomorrow). In the parking lot I call him and tell him the situation and my decision. He agrees. Time to stop the bleeding.

So I come home and tell the man. And we are all fine. And then his son shows me a hole in the top of one of the old pillars holding the porch roof up (the only one that needs replacing!) and shows me the frantic birds on the porch roof...flying at him. Apparently that one pillar (curved tongue in groove wood) has been the happy home of some tiny sparrows for quite a while. Nice.

The lilacs are blooming...the power saw in buzzing... and I'm thinking about lunch ALREADY. And as much as I'd like to grab a handful of pretzels and dip them in some whipped cream cheese....I plan my salad. And here it is:

I needed a treat today. I think the choice of the dish is as important as the food on it...in this case lettuce. So, today, I chose a heart shaped platter from Poland that I found for a great price at Home Goods (don't you love that place?!). My entire lettuce selection was hydroponic bibb lettuce. That particular lettuce is my personal favorite. A campari tomato, some green olives stuffed with pimento, two sliced mushrooms. On top is a leftover from dinner boneless chicken thigh that was braised with shallots and fresh tomatoes. And on top of the chicken is some strips of marinated roasted red pepper. On the right are five fresh mozzarella flowers. My youngest loves making bento box lunches and has little cutters to make decorative food. Fresh mozzarella flowers...ta da! Two CRUNCHY (I miss dry crunchy food most of all!!). A cup of tea (in my pink mug), a bunch of grapes for dessert. Once again I've used Mr. Newman's dressing...anyone have a terrific vinegar based salad dressing? (vinegar helps with blood glucose)

So. Back at the very end of February, 2008 I made a very uncharacteristic trip to the doctor's office. (I hadn't had a prescription medication in over four decades!) I had a sudden and upsetting allergic reaction to some oil of old lady cream and had a huge ugly carbuncle of sorts on my neck. Minor surgery was performed in the doctor's office and the next day I was pronounced a diabetic! No other symptoms except a high blood glucose number in a standard blood test and no other bad numbers in the entire list of results. When I asked what I had missed or what I should do....the doctor flipped his hand in the air and said "I don't know what to tell you."

Well I went home and sat alone in my kitchen completely overwhelmed by this news. I felt old, useless, just generally horrible. My oldest child is a critical care nurse and she said..."Mom, you're overweight. You can control this by losing some weight." I knew this, of course. And now I had the smack in the head I needed to get my body on the right track for the next half century my DNA says is likely available to me.


After weeks of research I've developed a plan that works for me. My blood glucose number (which I check twice a day is in the normal range...but I'd like it a little lower for my comfort zone) and I've lost 19 pounds in seven weeks. Lots more to go.


I know myself well enough to know that I have to have a planned "Pick & Stick" meal for breakfast and lunch or I will get too creative ( I own hundreds of cookbooks and LOVE to cook) and my "diet" will suffer. As so many have said before me...this is a lifestyle change. And it has to be. Along with losing weight, I feel great! So I must be doing something right.


So. My "Pick & Stick" breakfast is a half container of vanilla soy yogurt with cinnamon, a half of a banana, a cup of tea, and a slice of my homemade (by machine...more on that later) whole wheat/oat bran/ flax bread spread with a tablespoon of Simply Jif (low sodium, low sugar). I look forward to this EVERY morning (Sunday morning I get a little creative). Lunch is a salad (lots more on this) and dinner is different every night.


My youngest child is a computer whiz and she suggested I blog about my diet....specifically my daily lunchtime salad. So here we go!

This is today's salad! And it was yummy! I was in a bit of a rush (I was typing for church.) so I was very glad I had some prepared items at the ready. Already washed was a bag of red leaf and Boston bib lettuce. And already cooked was about a 1/2 cup of green beans. I grabbed two giant mushrooms, a campari tomato, and a mozzarella stick. I cut up the mozzarella stick and the tomato and the mushrooms and dumped them into the large bowl in which I mix my salad (a Rachel Ray garbage bowl!). Then I dumped in the green beans (I cooked extra a few days ago just for salad making.) I dumped about 3 cups of lettuce on top and about two tablespoons of Paul Newman's Olive Oil and Vinegar dressing and mixed. Next I mixed a can of my favorite solid white tuna with a little mayo and some chopped celery. As you can see they look nice together. Also on the plate are 3 whole grain crackers (complex carbs, you know!) and ta-da delicious, beautiful salad. I added a nice mug of hot tea (cold and overcast here today) and the daily crossword puzzle and I settle into my seat by the window for a relaxing lunch....even though it wasn't the slice of pizza I was craving. Or a cheesesteak!