What else is there to say?

Today started out hazy, hot, and humid. I've been having issues with my car and it is in for repair so my youngest has graciously allowed me to use her car. Using her car means I take her to the morning train and pick her up in the late afternoon. That's fine. Get some quiet time in the car waiting for the train.

This morning I came home to eat breakfast and it was dark, dark, dark...and then it rained. Hard. Not for long. And then the sun came out.

Part of this new lifestyle includes daily exercise. I walk (the local mall) and I lift weights (in the kitchen). Today suddenly became such a beautiful day that instead of walking in the mall, I walked outside the mall. There is a sidewalk around the perimeter. I put on my little ipod shuffle and listened to podcasts of Splendid Table. I learned about beans and pesto today. The walk was nothing short of glorious (1). The air was clear and there was a nice breeze blowing. The sun was out. Spectacular.(This is a picture of my foot in my Earth Shoes that I wear when I walk. They are lightweight. They have a negative heel. One of my friends said she thinks they're the ugliest shoes she's ever seen! I like them.)

Of course when I was done I was sweating. And by the time I got home the humidity had come back. But for that hour, the weather was beautiful.

I've settled in on a salad for the summer. Leaf lettuce, Jersey tomatoes, fresh mozzarella cheese, oil & vinegar dressing. The tomatoes this year are sweet and meaty. Nothing short of glorious (2).

What else is there to say?

So I know this is all supposed to be about the way I eat (I still eat my salad every day at lunch...made much more delicious since the Jersey tomatoes are in!) but since my glucose number (and yours too) rises with stress I'm going to share my angst with you too.

On Friday last my air conditioner in my car broke. The compressor. Lots of money. I called the dealer and they were to order the part and get back to me. Why is it that never happens? Why is it I have to make all these calls? The other day I complained about having to wait. I can't imagine what people do with no one home to wait and call and look for and do all those errands and all that waiting that needs to be done just to run the home. This is where some one else would say hey, that would make a great business. I could wait at other people's houses for the plumber, electrician, roofer. I could call the car dealer and wait for packages that need to be signed for. No way. Not me. My glucose number would shoot out the top of my head if I had to wait for my stuff and your stuff!

So. I called the car place. We bought three of our four cars from them and have them serviced there. We are trying to keep these cars happy and healthy and forever. I call. They can't find the name. Turns out they have my daughter's name in the computer despite the fact that she only owns one of the three cars. Can I, when I come in, tell them so they can get somebody to fix it? Sure. And do I get a discount on service for doing your job? Quck question. Why can't you fix it now, while I'm on the phone? Nevermind.

Earlier this week when I told of my broken air conditioner in my car someone asked me if I remembered when cars didn't have air conditioning. Absolutely. I also remember when people knew who you were and who your mother and father were. And I remember when who you were and how you acted got you some small measure of respect. I vividly remember my mother going to the bank because she had bounced a check (erroneously...the woman reckoned to the penny daily). The bank found the error. They had posted her check for her property taxes twice. Not only did they apologize, but they wrote a letter to the township clearly my mother's good name! Yesterday I was beside a young girl in the bank drive-thru. The teller was holding the girl's driver's license and passport (yes, passport) and still would not cash the young lady's check. And she was annoyed at the girl for trying. I don't know the whole story, but that was pretty rough for a check at the drive-thru.

Anyway...I do remember simpler times and kinder times. And I do remember sweating in the car in the summer (and searing my thighs on the vinyl seat).

We sent a man to the moon on less computer power than a dollar store calculator but someone did something to the computer at the car dealer and I have to go through three people for one person to tell me the part is in (and no answer on how long it's been there) and another to tell me they won't be able to fix it for three more days...four if I need a loaner car. And, could I please point out their error again so that someone can try to fix the computer.

Okay. My number is up, I'm sure. Going to go walk to destress. Although, when I get back in the car, sweating, I'll probably stress up again. That is, of course, until I go sailing down the highway with the wind blowing in my hair. Sometimes a dog's life looks like a lot of fun!

I took the day off.

I know. You're saying...hey, didn't you just go on a lengthy staycation?

Yes. Yes I did.

But today I got up and it was hot. It was hot last night. I was sweating while I was sleeping! And I got up just before dawn, like always, and made breakfasts and packed lunch. And I was hot. I turned the air conditioner on for breakfast! So, after everyone had gone and I had settled in with my soy yogurt and toast with peanut butter and my crossword puzzle and the morning news I thought about my plans for the day. My warm drive (No AC in the car yet) to the mall to walk. My warm drive back. Chores. Chores. Chores. Errands. And I just plain didn't feel like it. I wanted a day to do what I wanted to do. So I took the day off.

Now. I still did laundry and made the beds. I still went to the bank and the post office. I still am making dinner. But I went back and laid under the fan on my bed after breakfast and I read a book. I took a longer than usual shower. I surfed the internet. I took the day off. And I may take tomorrow off too.

she also serves who only stands and waits...

There are only a few things that can get me down and they seem to happen with distressing regularity. One BIG thing I can't stand is having to wait. I hate to wait. Hate it.

Friday morning I was on my way home from walking and the supermarket when my normally frigid car air conditioner got hot. I mean hot. It went from ice cold to winter time heat in less than a minute. I timed it. I conducted experiments to be sure it was the air conditioner. I have sold cars because their air conditioning broke. I don't like to sweat and I don't like to wait. So July in the mid-Atlantic with no AC is a bad place for me to be.

Back in November I hit a deer and had my car repaired by a very reliable place. Part of the repair work involved the AC and heat. I was given a life time guarantee in that if anything went wrong with the work done by this place during the life of the car (the time I owned it) they would make the repair for free. So, naturally, when my air conditioner went on the fritz I called them. A very nice young man named John told me to bring it in and they would look at it. Of course, this was Friday afternoon so I told him I'd be in first thing Monday morning. So first thing this morning I went to the collision place. I sat and waited for over 90 minutes and when the car was returned to me I was told that the AC compressor was gone. Done. Kaput. And that they didn't do anything to the AC compressor so they couldn't fix it. They couldn't even fix it if I gave them money! The mechanic told me the car was fine to drive but I was not to even turn on the AC...bad things would happen. Belts would break and such.

So I drove home, with the windows open, and called my dealer. Aside from the deer collision I have always taken my car to the dealer for service. A very nice young woman answered the phone and gave me a price to repair the AC in my car. In the meantime husband (after I called and told him what happened) sent me links with regard to a nationwide problem cars of my make, model, and year are having that sound eerily like my problem. And the prices people are getting to repair the car are in the thousands. Well, the nice young woman calls me back and gives me the price $868.48. I make sure we're talking about the same thing and then I ask about this larger documented problem. She explains that she' s new but she will look into it.

The part will take 2 to 5 days to come in and then she will call me (oh...I'll be calling her by Friday if I hear nothing) and then we will set up an appointment.

And here I am. Waiting. I'm waiting for the part. I'm waiting for the nice young woman to find out about the bigger problem. I'm waiting for one daughter to shower so we can go out. I'm waiting for the next heat wave to come.

I watched a report on the news this morning about the death of Randy Pausch. Dr. Pausch told us in his last lecture not to wait...to go out and live our dreams. I believe that we should. I believe that most people in this world are not having enough fun day to day. But when we go about having all kinds of wild fun...who's waiting for the car place to call, for the bread to rise, for the dryer cycle to finish, for everyone to come home to dinner?

That would be me.

The summer's bounty of fruit and vegetables is in. The farmer's market overflows with beautiful fresh, locally grown goodness. I realized yesterday as my bags and baskets overflowed and my daughter's arms and shoulders were loaded down, that, aside from dairy products like milk and yogurt, I shop almost exclusively at my local farmer's market.

The farmer's know me by name and always smile when I stop and shop at their tables. Yesterday was wonderful. Again. The weather was nice, not humid and the tables were overflowing. I bought green and yellow string beans, three varieties of eggplant (and there were more I could have), tomatoes and tomatoes and tomatoes (they are meaty and sweet this year...just delicious...my lunch salad is simply a little lettuce, a lovely tomato, and some fresh mozzarella cheese), corn on the cob, zucchini (green and yellow, not to be confused with yellow squash), lettuce, cucumbers (the little kirbys are my favorite...youngest daughter and I will be making more pickles this week. The first batch are delicious already.), green onions, sweet potatoes, yellow watermelon, red watermelon, peaches (still cling), the first apples (Pristine by name...tart sweet...love them!), red peppers, green peppers, green Cubanelle peppers (love them in eggs!), raspberries, and squash blossoms (stuffed with cheese and fried!), and cantaloupe...large and soft ball sized and the beef and pork and chicken and bacon and sausages and lamb (someone this week told me how mild it is...I'm going to try it. I always hated lamb as a kid...we'll see!). I haven't eaten this well since I was a kid. The quality of the food is the best.

I do understand that most people do not shop for food the way I do. Most people don't enjoy food the way I do...seeing it, touching it, imagining recipes, preparing. But I don't understand the people who get up early and make their way to and through the market just to NOT buy anything. How can you argue with cucumbers that are six for a dollar, zucchini four for a dollar, one dollar eggplants and one dollar cantaloupes?

On Saturday, like many other Saturdays, I saw more than one person take the free sample apples and peaches from those generous farmers and not buy any. They even sell single pieces. I was buying three little cantaloupes. Husband loves them for breakfast. They are local and sweet and they are no bigger than a soft ball. I was picking out three. My daughters had already gone to the car to unload and the three little loupes were my last purchase. A husband and wife in their late thirties were walking the market. She with coffee and flowers in hand. He stops near me, watching. She says (in not so lilting tones) what are you stopping for? He...to buy a cantaloupe. (The melons he was looking at were the size of bowling balls for $3). For $3 she says (coffee and flowers already close to $20). He looks at me...deflated. I say...these are a dollar and my husband loves them. Whyyyyyyyy? She asked all drawn out and irritated. I say because they are very sweet and the right size for his breakfast. Her husband looks up, smiling at her. She does not look convinced. After all a whole dollar on her husband's breakfast. Then I add that my father eats his cantaloupe filled with ice cream. For breakfast? she shrieks. I say...he's 84. Her husband says he can eat anything he wants. His shoulders droop and he looks over my basket. I chose my cantaloupe and left. I don't know if he got his cantaloupe, I hope so, but it didn't look good for him. But neither was she buying corn or tomatoes or summer squash or sugar baby watermelons. Nothing. Flowers and coffee.

Often I hear (because they are not quiet) men and children ask for certain fruits and/or vegetables that they see so beautifully and appetizingly displayed only to have the woman of the group say no. I don't get it. Why are they at the market then?

I was buying those light green, sweet Cubanelle peppers...they're in season now. They are mild and delicious (especially in scrambled eggs!). A woman standing next to me asked me what I was going to do with them. I told her. The farmer's wife who was waiting on me told her what she does with them. We told her how delicious and easy to cook with they were. So she bought eight of them for two dollars instead of just four for one dollar and she and her husband went away happy and talking and discussing how they would eat those lovely peppers with Italian sausage and with eggs.

The tables of fruits and vegetables are attractive. But they are not all fixed for you. You have to peel and chop and season and cook them. I think many women don't know how to do that anymore. I think many women think that cooking is something that, if they did it just to feed the family, would be a job beneath them. I've seen so many young women freeze when their significant other asks them how to cook this or that. Or when they hear that his mother used to cook this.

I wish I could tell them all how much love and pleasure you get back from just a little bit of effort chopping zucchini and frying it up with some onions and tomatoes. How much fun it is to cut the watermelon and sit on the porch spitting the seeds with your kids.

I have had to learn a whole new way of cooking that does not include potatoes and rice and pasta and white bread. It's an adventure. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. It's all in the trying. It's all part of the adventure.

I think in an effort to make our daughters stronger we took away the elements that make women who they are...the stronger sex. I wouldn't give up cooking dinner for my husband and family just as I wouldn't give up having given birth to my children. Women are different than men and I'm glad. I hope that I've taught my daughters that it isn't hard to be a good person.

"People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, …but they will always remember how you made them feel". (I don't remember who said that...but it's true)

It is a beautiful morning here made even more so after days of high heat and high humidity. Great night to sleep last night. Today I have plans to get lots accomplished before the next heat way hits. Laundry. Cleaning. Packing up six backpacks I've purchased (with supplies) for a collection drive in our county. I'm going to walk an extra lap and have something different in my salad. I haven't figured out what's for dinner yet but I know it will include salad and tomatoes and corn on the cob and a variety of summer vegetables. Tomorrow is the farmer's market and I like to have space in my refrigerator and to be surprised by what's new. I hope tomorrow morning is as nice as this one. The market can be awful on humid mornings.

Yesterday I read a long article about a study that doctor's did on controlling type 2 diabetes. The article said that doctors who participated in this "study" concluded that diet and exercise is the best and preferable way to control this problem but that it requires a radical and difficult lifestyle change that people are incapable of doing. There conclusion is diet, exercise, and medication for all. Well, I don't like to be told I can't do something and I don't like to be told that I'm not good enough to be able to do something. And, guess what, I did it. According to this report doctors want glucose numbers between 100 and 129 and they believe the only way to do that is through diet, exercise, and mostly medication. Well. I did it. My numbers run between 100 and 110. Without medication.

It is most definitely a life style change. But not that drastic. It's not like going from a house with running water and electricity to a tent. It's about choices. And it's very hard to make good choices when everything around us points us to bad choices under the guise of okay choices. A few years ago I purged my house of high fructose corn syrup. That was more difficult than low carbs. High fructose corn syrup is in everything. The real danger in this product is that, according to my reading, it raises glucose levels and helps us pack on the pounds and the body doesn't recognize it so it never tells you to stop eating it. We all can hear our bodies but we don't all listen. But HFC doesn't make a peep.

A low carb diet is difficult because pizza and sandwiches and fries and a burger are easy to get, easy to eat, and they taste good. I was shocked and suspicious years ago when I learned that the reason fast food fries have that golden brown color is the sugar that's sprayed on them BEFORE they're fried and doused in salt.

Here's what I can eat: eggs, cheese, steak, pork, chicken, turkey, fish of all kinds, lettuce, green beans, carrots, peas, corn, zucchini, tomatoes, peppers, bananas, grapes, peaches, plums, watermelon, strawberries, blueberrries, peanut butter, raspberries, whipped cream(!)...you get the idea.

Here's what I can't eat: white rice, white potatoes, white sugar, white flour.

I will admit that I have to make things from scratch more than not but that's okay with me. I enjoy cooking. I love eating. And I adore knowing exactly what is going into my body.

There is a lot of information out there with regard to the healthiest way for a body to eat. Much of it is hidden behind corn (there's lots of money in corn). But you have to gather it for yourself because the most successful diet (life style change) is one that you will stick with. I've done the research (and I continue everyday) and I've found a list of foods that work for me. I've lost 42 pounds and my glucose numbers are well within the normal range (without medication).

We've become a society that wants a quick fix. Anything worth having is worth working for. Why are we so unwilling to work at our health? Why are we so willing to relinquish our control over ourselves? I have a friend who has a friend who has been diagnosed with leukemia. My friends natural inclination, as is mine, is to research and learn about the problem and what can be done. Not this mother of four. She has told everyone she doesn't want to know anything about her illness. She simply went to her doctor and told him he didn't have to tell her anything she would do whatever he told her. Period.

Make no mistake. I am not some kind of food saint. I still dream about warm bagels and gooey pizza. But I also think about selling that novel and the next one and meeting my grandchildren.

After reading the articles yesterday I wondered exactly what those doctors eat every day and what they do to PREVENT illness in themselves and their patients. And I wonder how stupid they think their patients are. And then I wonder...well, you get it.

A thousand years ago when I taught high school English I used to get more than my share of the guys (and girls) who had failed a state administered minimum basic skills test. Nearly all of them only came to school half of the day, the other half they attended vocational classes at the county vocational school. They were studying to be mechanics and printers and beauticians and plumbers and electricians and they couldn't see why they had to take history and English and gym to get a job. And so they didn't always behave in a socially acceptable (for the hallowed halls of high school) manner. The first class of every year I gave them my short speech about that. I explained that everyone expected them to misbehave, to fail, to be nothing. Prove everyone wrong, I told them. Behave, do the work, graduate. Do the unexpected.

Do the unexpected. You're the big winner then.

Today my two grown daughters stayed home from work (one had off, one took off). We went out to breakfast (an easy low carb meal if you're careful about toast and leave off the potatoes). Then we did some errands. One of the errands was to drop off sports equipment, lined paper, games, hand held games, hand made blankets, toiletries, and other fun things to occupy time at a local pediatric (and teen) psychiatric ward at a local hospital. They have kids as young as five there that have problems and are admitted. My younger daughter used to volunteer there and saw a need for a variety of items so several times a year we donate what we've gathered or made. Locally an agency is collecting filled backpacks for school children in the area. So we went to the store and bought six backpacks. Three camo and three flowered and filled them. Notebook, paper, pens, pencils, markers, crayons, glue sticks, folders, pencil cases, erasers, rulers, scissors. And other fun things. Food is so expensive these days I don't know how young families afford things. In fact, going into the store we saw some one chased down and caught for shoplifting. Things are hard out there and I don't hear any presidential candidate saying what they're going to do to turn things around. That makes me nervous. But right now my kitchen table is filled, not with food, but school supplies in bright colors. When I have days like the other day when I felt invisible, I think of the different things I give (and I love being invisible then) to help and that makes me smile. So...I didn't think of my post of the other day as depressing although many others did ...just a too harsh observation of my reality I guess.

Spending a day with my "girls" was a very good thing!